The Lovers, The Dreamers, and Me: October 2009

As I rocked my little peanut tonight, the familier squeaking returned.

"ARGH!!!!" I thought to myself, "WHY DOESN'T MY HUSBAND FIX THIS CHAIR!!!! AHHHHH!"

It did it throughout Madeline's entire childhood and looks like Jackson is destined to squeakiness too. And then I thought about the hundreds of hours my husband and I spent in that chair. Rocking to sleep, breaking fevers, reading stories . . . I remember spending hours in it when I was pregnant with Madeline. Wondering what she'd look like - how much longer I would have to wait ...... and then all the sudden - she didn't want to be rocked anymore. She wanted to read books on the floor or in her bed. So - into Jackson's room it went!

It greeted me the first night we were home from the hospital and Jackson needed to nurse every half hour. It became a place for a quick doze while Jackson was struggling to fall asleep. And sometimes, it held us both for hours for no other reason than - I couldn't put my baby down just yet.

Eventually Jackson will outgrow being rocked and it'll probably end up in a closet, or the guest room if it's lucky. People will sit in it - with no clue what it means to me. No idea of the memories it holds. Furniture now a days isn't really built to last through generations, but I hope this one will hold up a while longer. I'd love to give it to one of my children and know that it was still supporting the ones I love. And it'll probably still squeak. And that's not so bad.

I took Madeline and Jackson in for their 3 year and 4 month appointments respectively. Jackson is now closer to 5 months, but I really wanted to take them together.

We were just in last week where we got multiple bad diagnoses - an ear infection and nasty cough to name a few... so I was anxious to get them back in for a check up. When Dr. Hill-Birk came in she immediately started engaging Madeline and asking her a lot of questions. All the sudden I found myself nervous! I hadn't prepped her for this! Ahhhh!!!!

"Madeline - are you a girl or a boy?"
"I'm a Madeline"
"Yes, but are you a girl or a boy?"
"I'm a girl."
"What about Jackson. Is he a boy or a girl?"
"....he's a boy."

I couldn't believe how nervous I was. I mean, those aren't things we necessarily taught her. "You are a girl - he is a boy." In fact I've only just started pointing out that there are some things that girls do that boys don't - like put on sparkly lip gloss - or that "just Daddies" shave their faces. I was all aflutter wondering if Madeline was passing the Doctor's test. I was starting to relax when Dr. Hill-Birk hit her with the killer question. She drew a circle on the paper in front of her and asked Madeline what shape it was. Madeline just looked at it. Inside I am cheering - "Come on! Madeline you have known your shapes since you were two!!" But she just sat and looked at it.

"Is it a square?" Dr. asked
"No."
"Is it a ....circle?"
"No."

AOOOOOGAH AOOOOOGAH!!!! My heart was pounding out of my chest. Now the doctor is going to think my child is slow - she is going to require that we take her to some type of remedial shape class - she is going to call CPS cause really, what child can't identify a circle???

Then I hear my little angel's soft shy voice.

"That's a oval"

"Only your child would point out my poorly drawn circle!" Dr HB said.

All that obsessing for nothing. I know, so unlike me - right?

The doctor was happy with Madeline's vocabulary and ability to be understood. Her gross motor skills are alllllmost at age level (She doesn't alternate her feet when she walks up stairs if you must know) and her fine motor skills are spot on as well. Smart as a whip but we knew that. ; )

We discussed diet (possibly my favourite topic) and she was glad to hear that Madeline's intake of processed foods is minimal. She loves fresh fruit and veggies, won't touch juice, (which is all fine and dandy until you need your child to drink some Pedialyte!) eats all things Kashi, and rarely gets fast food. Her weight was in the 25th percentile, her height the 90th. No surprise there. Long and Lean and will probably stay that way. (Until she has babies of her own that is....) She was glad to hear that we had her in ballet and tumbling which will assist with her gross motor, and assuaged my fears that she wouldn't get into Brown because she didn't go to Pre-school this year.

I love my doctor - she makes me a lot less neurotic. (Ok, so not a lot - but somewhat)

Jackson was 15.5 pounds (50th percentile) and....right around 27 inches I think - which was 90th percentile I believe - and of course - his nogg was off the charts. : ) His gross motor skills are way ahead of the curve - he is tracking and raking and rolling and smiling just like he should be.

We left the Doctor's office and went straight to the Dentist! I had put Madeline's hair in two cute ponytails with sparkly princess crown barrettes in her hair. As she was climbing into the chair, the hygienist said, "OH those are the CUTEST barrettes! I'll bet you just love princesses! Do you just love princesses?"

Madeline just looked at her and mumbled something about Gabby. Her little friend Gabby is ALL about princesses so she just assumes that everyone knows Gabby loves princesses. I mentioned that we were more into trucks and Thomas at our house. When the Dentist came in, she made over her barrettes too. She pointed to the sticker of Belle on the light and said, "Is she your favourite princess?" Madeline just stared blankly at her so I mentioned again that she preferred Bugs and probably couldn't name ONE Disney Princess to save her life.

Oh well! My little non-princess loving Princess had NO cavities and the Dentist was very happy with how her teeth looked. She drilled me about her diet. "No gummy vitamins right? Those are the worst! the WORST!" (You'd think I was letting her eat straight from the sugar bowl) I assured her no such travesties were going on in our house - that she only got a piece of candy slipped to her once a month if we could help it. No juice, little sugar, and pretty much nothing that could "stick" in her teeth. This is as much for the fact that I have the most horrible teeth on the planet as it is for the health reasons that I wouldn't give her sticky stuff. The poor child is about destined to have worthless teeth. I pretty much have more cavities than teeth at this point. I even told her about Wateroos - my recent discovery of water-in-a-juicebox. She was thrilled and told me she'd probably stop on her way home and pick some up! (I think this tidbit should have involved some type of discount for me but alas....)

Madeline didn't care much for the cleaning, but muscled through it. I was proud of her. I hate it when people mess with my teeth. Ick.

I had a thought on my way to the car, that going to the Doctor was sort of like a performance review at work. I'm not saying that my doctor is the end all be all, or that I am even doing anything right - but it just feels good to have someone tell you that, at least in their opinion, you aren't failing - that maybe just maybe - the hours of research on the computer, the endless stack of books, the hours of work on manners and potty training, the overbearance on what goes in the tummies......it's all paying off. Mothering - Parenting - is so subjective. There just isn't one "right" way - so there's no way to know if you're doing a decent job most of the time.

I'd be the last person to ever put up my feet and say that I know at all what I'm doing or doing it at all right - but it feels good to know that this thing I'm doing - the career I put on hold, the degree I'm not exactly using, the hobbies and me time that have all gone on the back burner - is perhaps paying off. I know that I feel darn lucky to have the two healthy children I have - everything on top of that, is gravy.