As I sit here typing this, I am sitting on the bed listening to my Madeline cry. I've actually turned down the TV that the Pediatrician told me to turn UP so that I couldn't hear her.
She's been up every night this week. Tonight we thought we'd slidden by because she usually wakes up much earlier if she's going to wake up. But alas, here I sit - listening to my baby, my flesh and blood cry -- because she wants her mama.
I took her to the Pediatrician today to make sure she didn't have an ear infection. (She gets them like every other week. Thanks Dad!) ;) The doctor cleared her, and told me that it's really really normal for babies to wake up around this age. I went through everything we had tried (which literally, was everything) and she said that it was time to let her cry it out.
Three words no mama wants to hear. I wanted to say, "Don't you realize I'd rather be hit by a bus or have to sit through a real estate seminar before I'd let her cry?" Deep down in my gut I know it's okay to let her do this. I KNOW she needs to learn to soothe herself. This is the first step of like 3 million that are going to be hard for me. But my sweet, bald, cuddly baby is crying for me- and I just have to let her calm herself down.
She said it was usually a 4 day process and by the 4th day they've learned to really deal with their "upsetness" and get back to sleep.
But it's ripping my heart out. I want to just wisk her up so she will immediatly cease crying, tell her that "mama's here" and rock her back into dreamland. But I don't want to create a monster. Her little manipulative side is already thinking, "Hmmmmmmmmm if I cry long enough I'll get want I want."
I just wish there was an easier way. I know I'm not the first mom to go through this - thank GOD I have THE best group of mom friends who, because they have slightly older children, have gone before me in this and are amazing with advice and support.
At the end of this process I don't know who will have cried more!
