As I sit here typing this, I am sitting on the bed listening to my Madeline cry. I've actually turned down the TV that the Pediatrician told me to turn UP so that I couldn't hear her.
She's been up every night this week. Tonight we thought we'd slidden by because she usually wakes up much earlier if she's going to wake up. But alas, here I sit - listening to my baby, my flesh and blood cry -- because she wants her mama.
I took her to the Pediatrician today to make sure she didn't have an ear infection. (She gets them like every other week. Thanks Dad!) ;) The doctor cleared her, and told me that it's really really normal for babies to wake up around this age. I went through everything we had tried (which literally, was everything) and she said that it was time to let her cry it out.
Three words no mama wants to hear. I wanted to say, "Don't you realize I'd rather be hit by a bus or have to sit through a real estate seminar before I'd let her cry?" Deep down in my gut I know it's okay to let her do this. I KNOW she needs to learn to soothe herself. This is the first step of like 3 million that are going to be hard for me. But my sweet, bald, cuddly baby is crying for me- and I just have to let her calm herself down.
She said it was usually a 4 day process and by the 4th day they've learned to really deal with their "upsetness" and get back to sleep.
But it's ripping my heart out. I want to just wisk her up so she will immediatly cease crying, tell her that "mama's here" and rock her back into dreamland. But I don't want to create a monster. Her little manipulative side is already thinking, "Hmmmmmmmmm if I cry long enough I'll get want I want."
I just wish there was an easier way. I know I'm not the first mom to go through this - thank GOD I have THE best group of mom friends who, because they have slightly older children, have gone before me in this and are amazing with advice and support.
At the end of this process I don't know who will have cried more!
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7 comments:
Sigh...now I'm crying again for a different reason. Give it a try, but if it doesn't work for you then don't push it. Or give yourself 10 minutes and stare at the clock, and if she isn't crying as hard, go another two, and keep doing that until you can't. It is the hardest thing to do but at some point you have to sleep too. If there is no medical reason for her to be waking, then she might just be testing you. Above all do what feels right for your family.
I actually had to go outside of the house and sit against the garage door so I couldn't hear Beau crying. It SUCKS, SUCKS, SUCKS--but you will all be happier in the long-run...
Just think, by Monday you will be able to start a fresh new week!!
Hang in there!!
UGH, tears are rolling and my heartstrings are being pulled for you! We've "been there, done that" and you are RIGHT, it is one of the hardest things to get through. Hang in there!
Blog peeker, Tawnya (friend of Starfitch)
PS. Do you have a Fisher-Price fishie aquarium, by chance, for her crib? That helps our Sydney soothe herself and provide comfort. Just an idea!
I'm so sorry times have been so tough. I would love to help you out. Send her my way--I promise I'll take good care of her! :-) I'm praying--for both of you (or rather--all three of you). Love you.
Oh, my heart goes out for you! We went through this a few times in the last year, and it was so hard! When I knew Adrianna did NOT have any problems but just wanted MOM, I would go in once, hold her by her crib until she calmed down, talk to her, pray with her, and then put her back down. At first she'd get so mad! But she calmed down and knew I loved her. Then I gradually got to the point where I don't even go in anymore unless it sounds urgent. It was so hard to listen to her cry, but it's totally worth it now b/c she rarely if ever cries at night anymore. Hang in there!!!!!
Poor Madda, and poor mommy! It will get better. It just takes a few nights. Go down to the basement where you can't hear!
I'm traveling from another blog- but I wanted to offer support. I just began letting my baby cry it out and in works... I found for me that it was easier to let him cry at nap times and still rock him to sleep at night- I missed that. And- after a few days he mostly stopped crying. I encourage you to NEVER go in there because in the end there will be way less crying if you bite the bullet. We tried 30 minutes but he always cried that long and they learn to make themselves cry so you'll come in. Good luck... www.ryanandabby.blog.com
ps- she's adorable.
Abby
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